Julia Johns ( @heyJuliaJohns ) Twitter Profile

heyJuliaJohns

Julia Johns

comedian/writer/illustrator/aspiring plant

Los Angeles, CA

Joined on 25 February, 2009

http://juliajohns.com

  • 169 Tweets
  • 1.4k Followers
  • 883 Following

Ready to drop $2,000 at a bar

 23  0  0

Every time I tweeze my random neck hairs I absolutely think about the guy I was having sex with one time who said, “You have a really long hair coming out of your neck”

 20  2  1

Goddammit I had abs like 2 weeks ago

 9  1  0

👨🏻‍🦰👨‍🦰👨🏼‍🦰👨🏻‍🦰

 34  1  8  Download

Sometimes you can’t stop thinking about something you said earlier, and the only solution is to go to bed at 7:23pm

 8  1  0

Thank you @TheRock for this gift to my brother! He was a very happy recipient and excitedly texted a pic to his friends. I’m retiring from giving gifts to him, as nothing will top this.

 390  4  15  Download

This is a text from my dad, who I guess thinks @TheRock and I chat back and forth now

 11  0  0  Download

This is a transition tweet between the Rock replying to me, and my next tweet.

 29  1  0

Quoted @TheRock

@heyJuliaJohns Wow! Great pic!! Tell your brother Merry Christmas and I appreciate him coming to see me back in, what appears to be 1998. I can tell the year based on my fake Tag Heuer watch I used to wear before it turned green 😂
Good ol’ days 🙏🏾
Merry Christmas to you and the fam! 🎅🏾

This is my vaccine

 82  5  2

Trying this again. Dear sweet angel @TheRock can you reply to this pic of you and my brother in the 90s so I can screenshot it for his Christmas gift? 🙏

 2,371  23  58  Download

I’m torn because I want to send a cardboard cutout of myself to my family for Christmas but only want to spend $10 or less on this bit.

 18  2  0

A child named Steve? Weird.

 9  0  0

Replying to @sarahclazarus: they canceled the olympics when cases weren’t this bad, please cancel eating potato in a group

 0  0  21,249

they canceled the olympics when cases weren’t this bad, please cancel eating potato in a group

 192,376  203  21,249

“Do you think a nice cool mint would help if I shoved your head up your ass?”

 39  1  0  Download

Ok tea I see your “steep for 5 minutes” and I raise you 27 minutes because I forgot about you

 217  2  20

Replying to @magicmikecastle: Name your favorite gun in the Bible, go:

 0  0  4,950

Name your favorite gun in the Bible, go:

 57,193  1,942  4,950

I know it’s not the right time but why hasn’t replacing a shower curtain liner gotten any easier

 13  1  1

Quarantining with my Google Home

 283  8  46  Download

End of content

No more pages to load