Joined on 3 September, 2013
You ever fix a weggie that just changes your whole outlook on life?
...@TheRock at 15 ➡️ Me at 15
➡️Me at 15
Just popped a big ol’ zit and it was clean!
Beware of guac that looks too good too be true
Today I smoked a cigarette and could barely see the smoke coming out of my mouth bc #theworldisonfire
Had my first open mic tonight #TheJager
Holy shit this was over 6 years ago
Yo shout out to anybody that's answered a text at 2am
Replying to @Things4WhitePpl: Not dinosaurs
I just sneezed my gum into my shirt while driving in a hot car. It's a situation.
Who do I talk to to get a vending machine fired? And vice versa if I want to tip one
Does anyone know where my Kindle is? I'm desperate it's not in the freezer where I usually keep it.
Soap is the best gift for dads. Dads love soap. And moms. Soap is great go soap!
Replying to @HileeJ: Where’s the live action Treasure Planet Disney? Huh bitch
Where’s the live action Treasure Planet Disney? Huh bitch
High Brau Taphouse August 30th
Beach Please Comedy at Tower 55 Ausust 21st!
I'll try and be safe in between then but no promises!
I mostly go to Starbucks to use their bathroom. Just doing my part.
Check out this show in Ft. Collins this Saturday!!! JokeChella is an amazing showcase featuring dozens of comedians from all over Colorado! I'll be doing a 90sec set in the 7:30 show!
I JUST SPILLED GRAVY EVERYWHERE!!!
PEOPLE ARE STILL DRIVING HUMMERS
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